"Marriage and Morals" - Review

"Marriage and Morals"  is a classic of exploration of ideas and social norms by Nobel Laureate Bertrand Russell. Russell was a British aristocrat and a leading intellectual who hugely influenced political, mathematical and philosophical discourse during his time.

This book battles the idea preached by conventional Christian morality that there is something inherently wrong and sinful about sex and sexual relationships; that even in marriage sex is to be tolerated only because it leads to procreation and hence propagation of the species. Russell examines patriarchy and monogamy arguing that these systems originated purely to assure a man of his fatherhood of the offspring of the woman he has been with. The book was first published in 1920s when contraceptives were still a new concept; he examines the effect of the possibility of sex that need not necessarily lead to pregnancy, on society and relationships. The most important idea from the book in my view that is still relevant in our day is the examination of the educational system which inadvertently serves to supress sexual curiosity and enquiry in children; Russell insists that if we are to have healthy individuals with harmony between their instincts and beliefs - and therefore a healthy society, it's imperative that education serves to train the instincts with positive moral systems rather than fear , inhibition and preaching of self control. Russell himself started a school when he saw what was lacking in education system and tried to set a model for future education. While some ideas in the book are definitely dated after a century of publication, many still shockingly remain relevant and serve to show the deep-seated guilt, secrecy and lack of knowledge associated with sex that we still face as a society.

Here is the most impactful closing phrases I have ever read in a book so far:

"The essence of a good marriage is respect for each other's personality combined with that deep intimacy, physical, mental and spiritual, which makes a serious love between man and woman the most fructifying of all human experiences. Such love, like everything that is great and precious, demands its own morality, and frequently entails a sacrifice of the less to the greater, but such sacrifice must be voluntary, for, where it is not, it will destroy the very basis of the love for the sake of which it is made."