My day out ;)

Since I have gotten into the habit of writing anything and everything that comes into my mind, I feel I should definitely write about my experiences in Kannar this weekend.
It’s a small city near Udupi in coastal Karnataka. I went there for the celebration of the 60th birthday of my maternal grandmother’s cousin with my mom and 6 aunts. Yes, I have 6 aunts just on my mom’s side. Don’t even get me started about my dad’s side or I might just start analyzing the reasons for population explosion in India ! To give a little background for the events that unrolled further on, I belong to a typical Brahmin family. Our community happens to be one of the most stringent followers of traditional ways though you can’t make it out by looking at me. This is because my mom and many aunts eased up on the traditions after their respective weddings, thanks to my dad and many uncles. But my extended family living in the countryside still believes in the old ways.
Now coming to the weather, as one might guess, a coastal city in Southern India in the month of April is not a pleasant place to be in. I was wearing a cotton salwar kameez to ease my discomfort in the scorching heat and practically no jewellary. Not even a chain in my neck or a bangle in my hand. I was dumbstruck to see all my aunts wearing Kanjeevaram saris and what seemed like a ton of jewellary on the whole ! I actually ended up appreciating their enthusiasm ! Amidst this set up, me not wearing jewellary was almost a crime. My mom who is aware of my distaste of the yellow metal and has given up on me long ago kept her peace. However my aunts have all the smartness of the typical Indian housewives. They know how to get things done by talking at the right place at the right time. They kept quiet during the journey from Mangalore to Kannar. But when we almost reached the place, one of the aunts removed one of her many chains and put it in my neck and another one removed one of her many bangles and put it in my hand and said “Just for me, keep it till the evening”. As you might guess, I had no case against the power of love.
When we finally reached the place and reached into the house, I realized I dint recognize a single soul apart from the people I arrived with ! But the disconcerting fact was that they seemed to recognize me ! One of the uncles there came to me and said “ You are Chaitra right? How are you beta ! You have grown so much ! The last time I saw you, you were still roaming behind your mother’s pallu. What are you, 5’6 ? I don’t understand how girls these days grow so much ! So tell me what kind of guy you want ? Doctor ? Engineer ? Foreign returned ? Now don’t go off settling down in foreign because I wont be able to visit you”.
For the love of Lucifer, I could not make out who that was ! There is a saying, ‘when in doubt, act conventionally’. I decided to take the truly Bharatiya Naari stance and said in a very sweet voice, “ I will do as my mother wishes”. Now anybody who claims to know me at all can make out it’s a blatant lie. But uncle bought it and was duly impressed. He went on to bother my mom and I heaved a sigh of relief. But the strangest thing was his affection warmed my heart. Later when I asked my mom who that was she said “Hey that’s Kumari Akka’s husband”. I dint have the heart to ask, “Now who the heck is Kumari Akka!” so I decided to put the matter to rest.
As a part of the ritual, one of the ladies on the hosts’ side was going around distributing Akshathe to be thrown at couple performing the pooja at the end of the ceremony. I knew it was for that; it’s the most commonly performed ritual and I am not that stupid. Nonetheless, as an instinctive act, I put the rice into my mouth ! The lady distributing it gave me a really cold stare and I virtually started melting. But my aunts formed a protective cover around me and made light of the matter by their collective laughter. The hostess also smiled finally and moved on.
Lunch was served. I sat next to my granny ( Naani for the benefit of Hindi-knowing people). One of the guys around was filming the ceremony with a videocam. There were murmurs around that he was the foreign-settled Son-in-law if the host and reverential looks were thrown at him justifying the awe of the general populace about NRIs. The lunch was served on Banana leaves. They served me with rice which would suffice me for three days straight! The lunch was delicious ! I tasted each and every dish on my banana leaf including salt and pickle. By the time the main sweet dish, holige arrived I was so full that I refused it. My Naani was almost offended ! She made the serving people come back and serve me twice the original quantity of the dish. Finally I ended up eating food enough for two days.
After lunch came coffee. Everybody on the hosts’ side was very busy and I was utterly jobless and almost on the verge of dozing off, so I volunteered my services. But I was duly refused on the account that I won’t know whom to serve what. You see, you can’t serve food to people who don’t belong to our immediate community inside the house. It should only be done outside. Yes, the caste system is still that prevalent there ! I was completely flabbergasted and decided to sit in a corner quietly till the whole ordeal was over, imagining how they might react if they knew I have tasted non-vegetarian food!
On the whole it was an awesome experience to be acquainted with the traditions and customs of my extended family which has survived through the cultural shock of modernity and see them welcome me with open arms. For them I was never a new person. I was always the granddaughter of Chandranna and Jayalakshmi (my grandparents) who studied in Shimoga and works in Bangalore. Even if I meet them again after five years, they will treat me with the same warmth. I guess that’s how Indian families have survived and serve as a solid foundation for our culture.