My day out ;)

Since I have gotten into the habit of writing anything and everything that comes into my mind, I feel I should definitely write about my experiences in Kannar this weekend.
It’s a small city near Udupi in coastal Karnataka. I went there for the celebration of the 60th birthday of my maternal grandmother’s cousin with my mom and 6 aunts. Yes, I have 6 aunts just on my mom’s side. Don’t even get me started about my dad’s side or I might just start analyzing the reasons for population explosion in India ! To give a little background for the events that unrolled further on, I belong to a typical Brahmin family. Our community happens to be one of the most stringent followers of traditional ways though you can’t make it out by looking at me. This is because my mom and many aunts eased up on the traditions after their respective weddings, thanks to my dad and many uncles. But my extended family living in the countryside still believes in the old ways.
Now coming to the weather, as one might guess, a coastal city in Southern India in the month of April is not a pleasant place to be in. I was wearing a cotton salwar kameez to ease my discomfort in the scorching heat and practically no jewellary. Not even a chain in my neck or a bangle in my hand. I was dumbstruck to see all my aunts wearing Kanjeevaram saris and what seemed like a ton of jewellary on the whole ! I actually ended up appreciating their enthusiasm ! Amidst this set up, me not wearing jewellary was almost a crime. My mom who is aware of my distaste of the yellow metal and has given up on me long ago kept her peace. However my aunts have all the smartness of the typical Indian housewives. They know how to get things done by talking at the right place at the right time. They kept quiet during the journey from Mangalore to Kannar. But when we almost reached the place, one of the aunts removed one of her many chains and put it in my neck and another one removed one of her many bangles and put it in my hand and said “Just for me, keep it till the evening”. As you might guess, I had no case against the power of love.
When we finally reached the place and reached into the house, I realized I dint recognize a single soul apart from the people I arrived with ! But the disconcerting fact was that they seemed to recognize me ! One of the uncles there came to me and said “ You are Chaitra right? How are you beta ! You have grown so much ! The last time I saw you, you were still roaming behind your mother’s pallu. What are you, 5’6 ? I don’t understand how girls these days grow so much ! So tell me what kind of guy you want ? Doctor ? Engineer ? Foreign returned ? Now don’t go off settling down in foreign because I wont be able to visit you”.
For the love of Lucifer, I could not make out who that was ! There is a saying, ‘when in doubt, act conventionally’. I decided to take the truly Bharatiya Naari stance and said in a very sweet voice, “ I will do as my mother wishes”. Now anybody who claims to know me at all can make out it’s a blatant lie. But uncle bought it and was duly impressed. He went on to bother my mom and I heaved a sigh of relief. But the strangest thing was his affection warmed my heart. Later when I asked my mom who that was she said “Hey that’s Kumari Akka’s husband”. I dint have the heart to ask, “Now who the heck is Kumari Akka!” so I decided to put the matter to rest.
As a part of the ritual, one of the ladies on the hosts’ side was going around distributing Akshathe to be thrown at couple performing the pooja at the end of the ceremony. I knew it was for that; it’s the most commonly performed ritual and I am not that stupid. Nonetheless, as an instinctive act, I put the rice into my mouth ! The lady distributing it gave me a really cold stare and I virtually started melting. But my aunts formed a protective cover around me and made light of the matter by their collective laughter. The hostess also smiled finally and moved on.
Lunch was served. I sat next to my granny ( Naani for the benefit of Hindi-knowing people). One of the guys around was filming the ceremony with a videocam. There were murmurs around that he was the foreign-settled Son-in-law if the host and reverential looks were thrown at him justifying the awe of the general populace about NRIs. The lunch was served on Banana leaves. They served me with rice which would suffice me for three days straight! The lunch was delicious ! I tasted each and every dish on my banana leaf including salt and pickle. By the time the main sweet dish, holige arrived I was so full that I refused it. My Naani was almost offended ! She made the serving people come back and serve me twice the original quantity of the dish. Finally I ended up eating food enough for two days.
After lunch came coffee. Everybody on the hosts’ side was very busy and I was utterly jobless and almost on the verge of dozing off, so I volunteered my services. But I was duly refused on the account that I won’t know whom to serve what. You see, you can’t serve food to people who don’t belong to our immediate community inside the house. It should only be done outside. Yes, the caste system is still that prevalent there ! I was completely flabbergasted and decided to sit in a corner quietly till the whole ordeal was over, imagining how they might react if they knew I have tasted non-vegetarian food!
On the whole it was an awesome experience to be acquainted with the traditions and customs of my extended family which has survived through the cultural shock of modernity and see them welcome me with open arms. For them I was never a new person. I was always the granddaughter of Chandranna and Jayalakshmi (my grandparents) who studied in Shimoga and works in Bangalore. Even if I meet them again after five years, they will treat me with the same warmth. I guess that’s how Indian families have survived and serve as a solid foundation for our culture.

Who Am I ??!!!

Who am I ? I was hoping you could help me shed some light on that. I will give you all the details though. When I started thinking about the subject my mind kept coming back to the contradictions my life is full of. I am going to share some of them with you in my speech.
I was born, brought up and studied in a small town called Shivamogga in Karnataka but ended working in the state capital. In truth I would prefer the peaceful life of a small place like Shimoga which is my hometown anyday, to the crowd and bustle of Bangalore.
Our next door neighbour in Shimoga was a Karnatic classical music teacher who practically rasied me. So I could sing SaReGaMa before I could walk.
I have a brother who is also happens to be my closest friend but his friends prefer me to him most of the time for some reason.I was one of the most studious pupils as long as I was in school but as soon as I stepped into college my name started popping up reagularly in the attendance shortage lists somehow. I mean, I went to college regularly. But the journey from the corridor to the classroom used to be really hard. There used to be so many distractions around the tea at the canteen being one of the foremost. We practically thrived on those one-by-two teas for those four years.
Coming to the present I work in Whitefield and live in Rajajinagar. From a Bangalore map’s perspective it is almost poles apart.
In my house, my room consists on the one side a big book shelf and on the other side my teddy big brownie bear Which I got for my 25th birthday like 10 days ago.
My book shelf contains on the one end the complete works of the great Kannada authors like Kuvemopu and Shivaram Karanth and on the other end English literature ranging from The God of Small Things by Arundati Roy, The Snow by Orhan Pamuck, the Portrait of a Lady by Henry James and on the other end Jackei Collins Snatangelo novels. Trust me I dint know what kind of author she was before I bought these books.
In the past year I have spent almost all the weekends roaming with different gangs of friends around South India. But my idea of a perfect weekend would be to just laze around at home, wake up at 1, Pm I mean, have self made Maggie for lunch, watch one or two episodes of friends and then go back to sleep.
Even my beliefs are full of contradictions. On the one hand I don’t believe in any traditional rituals. When I was younger I wouldn’t even step into a temple because I dint believe in God. But now I keep a fast once a month. I just perform all the poojas to satisfy my mom. On the other hand I am an ardent believer in sunsigns. Yes the zodiac signs. Just the character study part though. Not the astrology.
My favorite movies are Steven Spielberg’s Amistad, Satyajeet Ray’s Charulatha ( It’s a wonderful Benagli movie by the way). At the same time I really enjoyed sing is King and Bachna ye Haseeno. I like all of Akshay Kumar’s stupid comedies for that matter. They help me unwind after tough stressful days.
My favourite vehicle is still the good old cute and compact Scooty (the first love) although I can drive a Chevorelt Spark as good as any.
My favourite music ranges from Purandaradaasa’s Keerthanas, Bheemsen Joshi’s alaaps and Pandit Ravishankar’s sitar to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean, Guns and Roses’ Sweet Child of Mine and Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.
I can talk for straight two hours to a complete stranger still I truly express myself only in front of really few people. Even with them, although I share my problems and listen to their opinions and advice I finally end up doing what I had decided on doing from the beginning. I am very bad at taking advice.
I guess, at the end what I am trying to say is, I am not sure who I am. It usually takes people a lifetime to understand truly who they are. Even I am one of those ordinary people without any epiphanies or enlightenments who is in the process of understanding myself. It might take another 25 years for me to truly understand myself. But I am sure its going to be an exciting journey.

Bliss

Teach me the symbol of gladness that I need to know
Such harmonious madness from my lips would flow
The world should listen then as I am listening now....
- Mathew Andreson